Mistaken identity: Bag Lady, Carer or Patient
The last time I felt truly happy was back in June 2005 when I was on holiday with my husband. We returned to our hotel room after having breakfast, it was a beautiful sunny day and we were preparing for a day out, then without any warning, my life would be changed for the foreseeable future.
My husband suffered a traumatic head injury and associated mental health problems when a wooden pelmet with heavily lined curtains fell from a height of 12 ft and hit him on the head!
My husband has suffered a lot over the past two years through no fault of his own, but I can honestly say so have I. Being a carer is not only about looking after the physical and mental needs of my husband, but also managing and juggling everything else the world throws at me at the same time…
I remember going to the hospital everyday for 5 months feeling like a” bag lady “at least 3 bags in tow. Then once on the ward I was asked on several occasions was I a patient, “Yes” I was tempted to say after the day I had had, I felt like I was part of the furniture anyway. It was only when I was offered an evening meal that I realised it was time to go home!
Life for me has started to become a little easier as only now I can accept that it is important to have time to myself no matter how selfish it may seem… to get back my own identity again.
I have learnt that asking for help doesn’t mean that I am a failure and letting the person I care for down, but it is about accepting that even I needed help sometimes which was
very difficult; before I was always independent and thought I was always coping.
After speaking with others carers about their experiences this has given me back some self –confidence and made me realise how important it is to communicate and not stay in your own world alone.
Footnote: as a carer, communication with others
is the key to a saner world!
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